Air Travel

I have the privilege of doing a few weddings this summer. One of them is in Illinois which means I get to fly on an airplane. Airplanes are a nice concept and good at getting you places fast, but the wonder of them has kind of worn off for me. There is never enough legroom and invariably I sit behind someone who wants to put their seat back and wiggle around a lot. This ends up having the effect of them using my knees for a back massage. I guess I don’t mind, I just think I should get some kind of compensation.

It also cracks me up how people are so antsy to get on the plane. Another story from my most recent adventure in air travel—there was a middle-aged woman with three carry-ons (despite the fact that they announce four times you can only have one and a “personal item”) and as soon as they announced pre-boarding (for small children, people who need extra assistance, and apparently people with three carry-ons) she raced up and stood right next to the ticket taker woman, barely leaving enough room for anyone to get through.

Finally, they moved on to the regular boarding starting with the rows at the back of the plane. As soon as they started the announcement she sprang into position next to ticket taker woman and held out her boarding pass. Evidently she wasn’t in the back rows because she was instructed to step to the side and wait. This flustered her and I was afraid I would have to sit by her. I won’t make you wait in the tension, I didn’t sit by her, I sat by a woman who had headphones on but didn’t know it because she spoke loudly enough for everyone on the plane to hear. Such gems as—“WHAT KIND OF CHIPS DID THEY SAY?” and “THE MAP SAYS WE’RE THERE BUT WE’RE STILL IN THE AIR, IT MUST BE BROKEN?”

I don’t really have a point. I did in reference to the weddings but I got sidetracked. Sorry.