Another Mentor

For some reason I tend to think of mentors as people who I have spent a lot of time with.  My parents, Jerry Nelson, Vernon Grounds.  These are people who have significantly influenced my life who I have had the pleasure to spend quite a bit of time with (okay, so not all the time with my parents was a pleasure, especially for them!  I know what you’re thinking, “Trevor, you were probably a perfect child, making no noise in your cradle like the little Lord Jesus of Away in a Manger fame.  How could your parents have seen you as anything but a pleasure?”).  I am blessed to have wonderful and patient parents.

Over time I have come to realize that many people I have read or had classes with are my mentors as well, and over our break to Indiana I discovered another kind of mentor, someone who has mentored me just by his life.  I realized there is a person there who displays a godly characteristic that I admire, respect, and hope to emulate someday.  Before I tell you who it is, let me tell you a little bit about him.  

This is a man who has made a fairly sizeable amount of money in his life.  How much I have no idea and it doesn’t really matter.  Because what he has done and continues to do with that money is give it away.  He could hardly help giving it when he got re-married and suddenly found himself supporting seven children.  Five of them have now been through college (with much thanks to him), three are married (all girls, which where I come from at least means that the bride’s family ends up paying for most of the ceremony and reception), and you know with kids, especially seven, there are always financial needs coming up.  

He drives an old van with 260,000 miles on it and has no plans on letting it go unless it decides it’s had enough and decides to shut down.  He has an aversion to receiving presents for Christmas or his birthday; he would rather see what is given to him given away to others.  He gives to his church (and certainly not just his money, he is very active and involved despite little time to do it), charities, and pretty much anyone who has need.  I really do not think I can say I have ever known someone who gives so much away, receives so little credit, and really doesn’t care and probably wouldn’t even want to be recognized.

And what amazes me most is the attitude he has.  For him, generosity is not something he does; it’s something he is.  The way he gives his life and resources away is not something I think he even has to make a conscious decision to do anymore, it’s just who he is and he wouldn’t know how else to do things.

Here’s an example from when we were home.  We had an amazing Christmas dinner and there were somewhere in the neighborhood of twenty people there.  Anytime you have a five-course meal with that many people around the amount of clean-up to be done is staggering.  A few people pitched in a little bit (to my shame I have to say I did only a very little and didn’t offer to help more), but for the most part the work was left to this man and his wife.  After cleaning up for a little while this man told his wife that he would take care of the rest and she should go and talk to people.  He proceeded to clean up for nearly three hours.  He did not complain, seek recognition, begrudge anyone, or feel sorry for himself.  He was happy to do it so others could enjoy their time together.  It’s who he is.

This man is Michelle’s stepfather, Eric Harman, and he is truly a mentor for me.  I hope that with God’s help over time I will be able to become truly generous with my time and money and be a servant of others without looking for any recognition.